I Think I'll Leave My Family
From the outset of the Bible God has deemed it so that "it is not good that man should be alone." Over and over again in scripture, we see God placing an emphasis on us being together both with Him and with fellow humans.
Marriages, friendships, church families, earthly families, work companions, recreational companionships, and I could probably think of more if I continued to try.
Even when Jesus left this world after His resurrection, he said the following to His disciples (of whom we are), (John 14:16-18 NCV) "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever-- {17} the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it does not see him or know him. But you know him, because he lives with you and he will be in you. {18} "I will not leave you all alone like orphans; I will come back to you." INCREDIBLE!! Jesus knew that we cannot stand to be alone.
Did you know that one of the greatest struggles in our world right now is loneliness? People all around us are lonely--even in God's family. How sad that is. There could be volumes of blogs written on the causes, but that's not why I make this point.
I make this point because I'm just a little upset--NO A LOT UPSET! Now before I go any further, realize that I am not lashing out at any one person or even a set of people, but a mindset that exists in our area of this planet. I am talking about people who would give up their church family to run across town to another one that "fits my need!"
This is such a problem in our area and the problem exists across denominational lines. Brother A gets angry at sister B and decides that "God has called him" to another place to be--or brother A doesn't like preacher B's sermon illustrations so he decides to leave. Maybe the church isn't singing the kind of songs that I like or had the kind of chairs I like or maybe something more serious than that like the color carpet or the way we pass the Lord's supper trays around.
It is such a problem in our area because of many reasons. 1. There are too many choices for "church." We believe more in division that multiplication or addition. 2. The leadership never challenges the "why" of someone arriving in their churches. I believe very strongly that we need more often to make sure that people have left a family taking care of business rather than just jumping ship. 3. People have lost the real reason we are here. We are to glorify God and save souls through Jesus--NOT GET MY NEEDS MET.
The real sadness is that we are so willing to leave our family. That's what church is--FAMILY. If one of my children came home one night and said, "Dad, I just don't think my needs are being met, I'm gonna go over to Johnny's house and try living with them for a while." I would be crazy to say, "well, just don't let the door hit you in the but on the way out." We would want to stay together and try and work things out. My family is too important to me! Church family ought to be just as important.
With all the loneliness in the world, it's so sad to me that people want to leave their church families over such small things.
Maybe in the next blog I can deal with the answer to this problem. Just let me vent here and maybe you guys and gals can help with some answers.
Marriages, friendships, church families, earthly families, work companions, recreational companionships, and I could probably think of more if I continued to try.
Even when Jesus left this world after His resurrection, he said the following to His disciples (of whom we are), (John 14:16-18 NCV) "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever-- {17} the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it does not see him or know him. But you know him, because he lives with you and he will be in you. {18} "I will not leave you all alone like orphans; I will come back to you." INCREDIBLE!! Jesus knew that we cannot stand to be alone.
Did you know that one of the greatest struggles in our world right now is loneliness? People all around us are lonely--even in God's family. How sad that is. There could be volumes of blogs written on the causes, but that's not why I make this point.
I make this point because I'm just a little upset--NO A LOT UPSET! Now before I go any further, realize that I am not lashing out at any one person or even a set of people, but a mindset that exists in our area of this planet. I am talking about people who would give up their church family to run across town to another one that "fits my need!"
This is such a problem in our area and the problem exists across denominational lines. Brother A gets angry at sister B and decides that "God has called him" to another place to be--or brother A doesn't like preacher B's sermon illustrations so he decides to leave. Maybe the church isn't singing the kind of songs that I like or had the kind of chairs I like or maybe something more serious than that like the color carpet or the way we pass the Lord's supper trays around.
It is such a problem in our area because of many reasons. 1. There are too many choices for "church." We believe more in division that multiplication or addition. 2. The leadership never challenges the "why" of someone arriving in their churches. I believe very strongly that we need more often to make sure that people have left a family taking care of business rather than just jumping ship. 3. People have lost the real reason we are here. We are to glorify God and save souls through Jesus--NOT GET MY NEEDS MET.
The real sadness is that we are so willing to leave our family. That's what church is--FAMILY. If one of my children came home one night and said, "Dad, I just don't think my needs are being met, I'm gonna go over to Johnny's house and try living with them for a while." I would be crazy to say, "well, just don't let the door hit you in the but on the way out." We would want to stay together and try and work things out. My family is too important to me! Church family ought to be just as important.
With all the loneliness in the world, it's so sad to me that people want to leave their church families over such small things.
Maybe in the next blog I can deal with the answer to this problem. Just let me vent here and maybe you guys and gals can help with some answers.
posted by Keith Davis at
1:48 PM
5 Comments:
First - good to hear from you and yes, feel free to vent any time.
Second - This phenomenon of “musical chairs church” is probably due to our people valuing the strength of issues over the strength of their relationships as well as this consumer mentality we find ourselves dealing with.
Hang in there Bro.
By
cwinwc, at 2:23 PM
Keith, I guess I look at this a little differently than you do. Probably because I'm not a minister. I consider Christians everywhere to be my family, not just the group I'm worshiping with on a regular basis. There are many reasons a person might choose to start worshiping at another location. Doesn't mean they are abandoning their family. I still consider the folks I have worshiped with throughout the years to be my family, even though I may not worship regularly with them any more. And I would hope they feel the same way.
By
Connie Lard, at 7:07 AM
Keith, Another thing I thought of after I posted. You might look at your own history. I daresay you've not always worshiped with the same group you are with now. Do you feel that you "abandoned your family" when you left the last church? Perhaps you need to look at your own attitude about this. Why does it bother you so much for folks to choose to worship at a different location?
By
Connie Lard, at 7:20 AM
Worshiping at other places is not the problem at all. It's the reason they go there. It's not so much the "worship" that I'm hurt over either. Still it's the attitude with which they leave. I'll give you an example.
We've had in the past year two or three families and individuals to leave and go elswhere. One of those was a young man who was recieveing pressure from his family because he worshiped at our congregation. When he left, he came before the congregation and told us his reasons. We all gathered around him, laid hands on him, and prayed for him. He left with good understanding and our blessing went with him. None of the others who left even had the love for the church family to tell us that they were leaving, let alone the reason.
I guess people think I am upset about this because I am "the preacher." Has nothing to do with it. These are people I have had long-standing relationships with who I "thought" felt the same. To up and leave without even calling me or some of the other people they "love" and let them know they are leaving our family is a disgrace.
I have no problems with fellowshiping any Christ-follower and loving them where they are. I am glad that at least some of these people are with another families of Christ-followers--no problem at all.
I just know that if people don't take care of their relationships at one location, they won't at another. God is no happy with those of us who care more about "our needs" then we do about taking care of our relationships.
By the way Connie, in the 5 churches I have "left" since my ministry began, two of them were churches that I did not want to leave, but they chose for me to leave because of extremely poor reasons. One was a little congregation that I had an agreement with for the last year of college and they knew I would be leaving for full-time work. I hated leaving them and still have a great love for them. And the last one I left at the advice of the minister to preach as opposed to doing youth ministry. I also left them with tears in my eyes and still consider them my brethren and I hope they do me.
Again I say, leaving is not the problem it is leaving without a concern for the feelings of "your family." That I have a great problem with.
By
Keith Davis, at 10:37 AM
Very well said Keith. Amen Brother!
Laura
By
Anonymous, at 4:50 PM
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